Fire Cheesesteaks

A while ago, when I started blogging about how bad I suck at life, Hub had a concern.

Hub: “I think if you take pictures of everything you do, every step of the way, things will go according to plan and there will be no disaster”

I am here to report that is not the case. In fact, I may have just encountered the worst disaster yet.

While browsing my favorite recipe website today I came across a few that I would love to try. Everything that I have made from Favorite Family Recipe has been super amazing, and many have become “repeat recipes” at our house.

I decided that I was going to try to make Easy Philly Cheesesteaks. I just now noticed that the word “easy” was in the title. People, don’t be confused, they may be simple, but I wouldn’t go so far as to call them EASY.

I drove my booty to the store, got all my goods, and came home super excited to make Hub a sandwich and potato wedges (also amazing). So here it goes, step by step to ensure that I do not mess it up.

 

First I made the potato wedges. Yum Yum Yum!!

These are easy. I think the pictures explain it all. Then pop them in the oven at 450 for 35ish minutes, or until golden brown and soft all the way through. (Note: make sure that you set the oven at 450 NOT 350… not like I know from experience….)

Then carry on with your main entrée.

 

*Please excuse the absence of the cream cheese, but it is VERY important!!!*

Combine your can on beef broth and a package of your onion soup mix and bring to a boil, then add your roast beef, and simmer for about 10 minutes (or longer if you are me and need to figure out what the crap you are doing)

*Pre beef, obvi.*

Sautee your onion and pepper in a large skillet. When the roast beef is done simmering, add it to your onions and peppers along with 4 oz. of cream cheese. (or more if you are me and A. love cream cheese, B. have no idea how much 4 oz. really is).

*That really was a ton of cream cheese. A TON.*

Spread the remaining cream cheese on your hoagie’s and add a mucho grande amount of your beef mix. Place your provolone cheese on top of that and pop those bad boys in the oven on broil until your cheese is super gooey and your buns are just barely broiled.

I know this is the part that you are waiting for, forget the directions, they aren’t very good anyway. You are so excited to see the finished product and be so jealous that we had this amazing dinner… but what I’m about to show you is far from perfection.

 

This is real. You think that its just really really burnt? No no no. I’ll tell you what happened. I quickly set the place mats down (ok maybe we are using dish towels at the moment because our place mats had bugs living on them (groooooooooossssssssss), grabbed two water bottles and put them on the table, turned around to bend down and open the oven, and then I saw the tragedy. My delicious easy cheese streaks were engulfed in flames. I stood up really quick because I didn’t believe my eyes, bent back down just to double check to make sure my worst night mare wasn’t coming true, and it was. Is it terrible my first thought was “where is my camera?! No one is going to believe this!” and then came reality, “OH ****!!!! THE WHOLE TOP OF THE OVEN IS ON FIRE!!! I HOPE IT’S JUST MY HOAGIES AND NOT THE WHOLE FLIPPIN GAS LINE”! Literally, the top of my oven looked like it was all on fire. The very center of the oven was in flames, and those flames were connected to my yummy dinner. I grabbed my oven mitt’s and ripped that cookie sheet out of the oven and blew out the flames faster than you could say “Only you could light dinner on fire”.

I was so so so stinkin’ excited to eat this meal, I can’t even describe it to you. I went outside to tell husband of our loss (he was cleaning the pool, surprised?) and then stumbled my way back down the hall into my smoke filled kitchen. Luckily I bought more hoagies, and the yummy beef hadn’t been scalded to death so I popped some new buns on a new cookies sheet and threw them in the oven that I had turned off. I left them in there long enough to brown and I kept my eyes glued to the stupid thing. I moved the gooey goodness from the charcoal onto the lightly toasted hoagies and dinner was back on, and you know what, IT WAS AMAZING.

Next time (if I’m brave enough to ever use the oven again) I might find out how much 4 oz. of cream cheese really is, but other than that, no changes whatsoever. Oh, except of lighting everything on fire. I’ll leave that one out… hopefully.

 

Not even documenting my semi-step-by-step dinner can save me from myself.

Yours truly,

                       -The Natural Disaster

 

PS. Please don’t tell me I’m the only one who has encountered a fire in the kitchen. Please?