Rowe Lyn Ross

Rowe Lyn Ross

May 20,2015 2:17 AM

3lbs 14 oz 18.5in.

There has been so much debate going into this sweet baby's name. She's given us such a run for our money (literally) throughout this whole pregnancy we needed something that would fit her. She's been so fierce and strong through all of it she needed something unique. It's also no secret that I wanted her to have a different name. My name isn't "normal" and Nixon isn't exactly common either. We have been throwing names back and forth for weeks but when I heard Rowe for the first time I just knew it was meant for this baby. I wanted to name Nixon Rowland so bad, but when push came to shove he ended up as Nixon James because it sounded much better than Nixon Rowland, and James is family name in Jim's family. It's also Jim's first name. I have been determined that we were only going to have boys so baby #2 would be Rowland. Well, baby #2 is a girl! Before we even knew we were having a girl I decided I wanted a girl to be named after my dad's sister. While my mom was pregnant with my oldest brother Cody, my dad's parents and two sisters were in a terrible car accident. Both my grandparents were killed, along with his sister Jeanna Lyn who was going into her senior year in high school. I've always been so sad that they weren't around and we would never have a relationship with them. It's very safe to say that Lyn was decided before anything else. If a name we liked didn't fit with Lyn it was automatically off the list. When I was admitted to the hospital I had my mind made up that I needed this baby to be Rowe Lyn. There were other names tossed around but when it came down to it I couldn't give it up. Rowe after my maiden name, and Lyn after my dads sister. If you say them together you kind of get Rowland, and that's a win win win for me! After she was born and Jim was with her across the room I heard a nurse ask if this baby had a name and he said "Yes, Rowe" and that was one of the happiest moments of my life. Not only is it adorable, the meaning is even better. We love our healthy tiny baby Rowe and couldn't feel more blessed!!

32 Weeks

Well, it’s official. I’ve been a resident at this hospital for a week! An entire week! I can’t believe it. In some ways it’s been the longest week of my life, but at the same time the days blur together and I can’t believe it’s already been a week! I thought I would give everyone a little update.

The good news, it’s been a fairly uneventful week and I’m still pregnant! Today I’m officially 32 weeks and that alone is such a relief! If she decides to come now the blood vessels in her brain are fully developed and wont just burst for no reason. The chances of Cerebral Palsy are also next to nothing, both of these things make us super happy. Monday was also a really really good day, they told me I would be able to take wheel chair rides, wear my own clothes, and shower regularly. It really is the littlest things that make me the most happy! Being wheeled around the hospital in a wheel chair is so weird, but oh my gosh I don’t even care. It has been so so nice to go and sit outside instead of stare at it out the window.

This baby is such a little ball of fire, I’m honestly scared for when she gets here. If this pregnancy is any indication of her personality… oh boy. We are in for it! She is stubborn as they come! Twice a day they have to put me on the monitors to check her heart rate and track contractions (yes I’m contracting, but they don’t hurt and I usually have to being paying close attention to feel them, it’s normal at this point). She only has to be on the monitor for 20 minutes straight but the likeliness of that actually happening are slim to none. She is so active and has lots of amniotic fluid to swim around in that she will almost instantly move off the monitor. Plus she has to have accelerations during the 20 minutes where her heart rate goes up at least 15 beats and she is just so lazy, especially in the morning! They have this mini flashlight thing that vibrates and they put it on my belly for about 2 seconds and she haaaaates it so she instantly moves and gives us the acceleration we need. Sometimes the nurses will sit and hold her on the monitor for like 30ish minutes, but yesterday they left me on for like 2 hours and went about their day. They only need 20 minutes, but it can take fooooorever. Forever. Monday morning she was extra lazy so they decided to do an ultrasound just to check on everything and she scored perfectly. They estimated that she weighs in at 3lbs 10.5oz. and we are thrilled!! If I’m pregnant for two more weeks (hopefully) she will be close to 5lbs and that would be so so good. Obviously the longer she is in there the better.

All of my nurses have just been so so so wonderful. On Saturday night I got a new one, Judi, and I hadn’t had her before. As we were doing the monitoring I think she could tell that I was a little down and just talking to me about everything that they are willing to do. This hospital doesn’t get many antepartum patience so when they do they try to make us as comfortable as possible. She said I’m welcome to keep anything I want in the nurses fridge and freezer and if I am just having a crappy day to tell them. She went on to say that it really does suck in here, and there’s nothing anyone can do about it and it’s ok to be mad and upset. As soon as she left I cried. For nearly 24 hours straight. I bawled every time someone would come or go from my room. It was probably the hardest day of my life, and it actually had nothing to do with it being Mothers Day, and I was spending it in the hospital. luckily I got to spend it with my mom, and Nixon and Jim really spoiled me. It was just so good to hear from a total 3rd party that it’s just ok. It’s ok that it sucks. It’s ok that I get bored. It’s ok to sob uncontrollably. After that my attitude has been so much better. It’s all ok. I’m happy to be here, I’m even happier to be pregnant, and I’m 100% confident that no matter what happens we are all going to be ok.

Finally, I feel just so so blessed. Jim keeps saying over and over that we are blessed with good Drs. and nurses, we are blessed that I am able to be in a safe place and that nothing more has gone wrong and he is completely right. This is such a scary thing and like I told one of the nurses “I’m just waiting around until I potentially bleed to death” and as horrible of a reality as it is, it is a reality. But I know it’s all going to be ok. We’ve got such a great support system all around us. It’s completely humbling to think of all the people that have reached out to help us. My mom had to go back to Utah for 3 days, and in those 3 days I didn’t have to worry about my Nixon once. People were lined up to take him and wouldn’t you know they were better parents to him than we are! He ate so good for everyone and that alone is a huge blessing (he is so stubborn and the only fruit he eats is apple sauce and bananas). I’ve been overwhelmed with everyone who has come to visit and all the treats and gifts that they have brought. I’m running out of sitting room on the couch because of all of it! I’m so grateful for my husband, he’s the real hero here. He’s had to be a true single parent this whole time. Getting Nixon up and ready for the day, dropping him off at babysitters, working all day, picking him up, coming to the hospital, taking him home and feeding him dinner, bath, and then bed. On top of that there’s also the household chores. He is handling it like a champ. He’s completely selfless putting Nixon and I before his own needs and I can’t thank him enough. He has a great job working for a company that is completely understanding of our situation and willing to do whatever it take to accommodate him. That alone is such a relief! They’ve said that I am the best worst case scenario and I can’t agree more. As much as it sucks to be away from my family and feel like a burden, I also feel incredibly blessed. So thank you, Thank you from the bottom of my heart because it really does take a village, and I clearly have the best one possible.

31.2

May 9,2015

Jim was able to pick my mom up from the airport shortly after the second blood clot and they spent the rest of the night at home with Nixon. I was actually able to get some sleep that night because I didn’t have to be hooked up to the monitors all night! I’m down to twice a day for 20 minutes, but getting her to stay for those 20 minutes can be rough. I was up early again because I was really anxious to meet with Dr. Elliot. He specializes in high risk pregnancies, but doesn’t actually deliver babies anymore, but gives more of a consult. I went to his office at about 22 weeks for an ultrasound to see about the previa in the beginning. Around 9:15 my support team of mother, husband, and baby came walking through the door and I was so happy! Nothing makes me happier than hearing Nixon coming down the hall “baba? Baba? Baba!” They came right in time because about 30ish minutes later Dr. Elliot walked in. I’ve never felt so comfortable and terrified in my entire life. The information coming from his mouth was horrible, but knowing it makes me feel better. We chatted about the the history of this pregnancy so far and he said I’ve been pretty much a text book case of placental previa. You usually have 3 bleeds, each one worse than the next, and they will all happen about 2 weeks apart. They are counting this one as my second bleed because the first wasn’t very much, and earlier on than usual. He asked how far away I lived and thought about it for a second and just told me as nicely as possible that I wouldn’t be going home. He wants me to be comfortable and understands how sucky it is to be here but went on to explain the risks of being at home when the third bleed occurs. In order to even go home I wouldn’t be able to have any spotting whatsoever for at least 4 or 5 days, and to be honest no one is really counting on that. From there he said if I were at home I would need someone who could be with me 24/7 to call an ambulance if I started to bleed again because there wouldn’t be any time. He’s had patience bleed out who were in the hospital before they even made it to the OR. After hearing that I knew I was exactly where I needed to be. As comfortable as home would be, I can’t be completely contained to the bed at home with Nixon, it would just be too hard.

The big question is how long will I be pregnant? Obviously no one knows because things could change so fast at any point. The goal is to keep this baby in as long as its beneficial for her, and not putting me at too much risk. Right now, she needs to be in. Hopefully for a week or two, but we are kind of expecting to meet her within that time. Dr. Elliot said that week 32-33 are really more important for her to be in, but the survival rate is 98% at this point. Around 34 weeks the benefits stop outweighing the risk and they will likely take the baby then to prevent a blood vessel in the placenta popping and dealing with tons of bleeding (he said it could be nearly a liter right from the get go!) Ideally I wont need an emergency c-section and I can just have a regular scheduled one, just much earlier than the current one that is scheduled for June 18. Needless to say, I’m scared shitless but there’s not a single thing I can do. Everything has been a total fluke, I didn’t do anything to make the placenta attach low, there’s nothing to do to prevent the bleeding, and like Dr. Elliot said earlier, If I’m going to bleed I’m going to bleed. It doesn’t matter if it’s in the shower or the bed or on the toilet, it is pretty much bound to happen. I’m like a bomb just waiting to go off but until then we are doing what we can to prevent it. They moved me out of isolation (I wasn’t really in isolation, they just don’t really use the room because its not that functional) and I’m now right across the hall from the OR just in case anything happens. I feel blessed to be surrounded by such good Drs and nurses! They are trying to keep me with the same nurses so that everyone will stay on the same page and I have loved them all so far. I know that whatever happens everything will be ok and I’m exactly where I need to be, even if I cry every time I hear Nixons voice on the other end of the phone.

So thank you all! Thank you for the kind text, phone calls, messages, and out pouring of love for my little family. I’m truly grateful for everyone offering to take my Nixon so Jim can be at the hospital with me, or my mom. Cross your fingers, toes, and my legs that we can get as much time as possible with this sassy thing inside.

Isolation

I have a whole blog post all quid up and ready to go, it just needed a few pictures (don't they all?) but then drama happened and I'm going to have to come back to it. It's just a 30 week bump date with what I’m sure are less than whitty comments. I'll try to make this update as thorough as possible without being all over the place, I make no promises!!

THIS MAY BE TMI! IF BLOOD AND VAGUNAS GROSS YOU OUT LOOK AWAY NOW!

So Thursday evening we were eating a very healthy, nutritious, dinner made of pancakes and lots of laziness when I felt a gush. This isn't the first time it's happened so I just sat and waited, about 5 seconds later I felt another gush and went to the bathroom. Sure enough there was blood. Lots of blood.  Like couldn't see the bottom of the toilet, lots of blood. Last time I had bled (April 19-20) it was bad, but not this bad and had stopped in a little under 24 hours. Against Drs orders I did not go to the hospital. He made me promise if I had anymore bleeding at any point I would go because it could be life threatening to me and the baby. So naturally I grabbed a pad and sat on the couch and told Jim I was going to watch it and if it got worse we would go in. Within a few minutes there was another gush or two and I was annoyed and went to the bathroom again. This time there was less blood, but there was a clot, a laaaarge golf ball sized clot, and when I saw it I new we had to go in. I yelled at Jim who threw Nixon in the car and we were at the hospital in probably 5 minutes. Luckily our really good friends lives down the street from the hospital and were also there within minutes to take Nixon and make sure he had fun that night!! I can't tell you what a relief it is knowing there's someone who knows your baby just about as good as you do, and so willing to help even with a 3 month old and a two year old of their own! We owe you, Smiths!!

Anyway. It took a few minutes to get checked in and changed and they had me go to the bathroom and there was still blood. It didn't take long for them to just admit me so that they could watch me and try to control the bleeding. Around 10 we were getting settled into our room. I did/do find it so weird that I'm in a full blown labor and delivery room. Like just right over there is the baby bed and I stare at it all day. But they also have me in the isolation room, another hilarious perk. I'm kinda outta the way, you literally walk through a storage closet to get to the room! But it's quiet and they haven't forgotten about me! My nurse said at this hospital they don't get many people like me, ya know, “residence" if you will. That night I had to be hooked up to the monitors all, night and it was probably the worst thing ever. This baby is so so so active that she won't stay long enough to get a good read on her heart beat! The nurse kept saying "I know you are alive in there, I hear you kicking and moving, but just stay still" and I couldn't have agreed with Her more!! After about an hour or more of that she finally settled down enough to the point we got a little sleep.

They were in and out of here all night and I was trying not to move so she would stay on the monitor and then with all the fluid I peed about 10 times and that was annoying. Finally I was up for the day at about 3 and just hung out. They said Dr. Huish would be in after he did a c section at 7:30. I don't know how he does it but at 7:30 on the dot he walked into my room. He pretty much said I would be here through the weekend if we could get the bleeding to stop. He also said that he would like me to stay pregnant for another week or two and that kinda broke my heart. Something about the realization that the Dr. has less hope for you than you do will really rattle your strength. From there I met with all sorts of people, NICU, nurse practitioners, anesthesiologist, and more. The reality of everything was hard but after I cried I knew there was nothing more I could do and just took it in stride. Jim picked up Nixon and ran some errands with him and came back to the hospital about 12:30. I've never been more happy to see that sweet babies face in my life!! He was smiling from ear to ear and just kept saying "Baba! Baba!!" (That's what he calls me, I've never been mama) he was so cute and on his best behavior and his dad had him dressed and hair done, father of the year!! They stayed until nap time and then went home and we all took a nap! At this point everything was looking much better! No big clots, no gushes of blood, I was just peeing out brown small chunks and I thought I would be in the clear! I was lucky enough to have some visitors again, Jim Nixon and Paige came! It was so nice to just chat and be with people! Right after Paige left I went to the bathroom and sure enough, I passed another large clot. This one was even bigger than the last, I would say the size of two golf balls. Just like that, everything I was working for got ripped away. I was promised I could shower, I was told I would only be in the hospital for the weekend, and just like that no shower and calls to the Dr. were put in place. Once the nurse talked to Dr. Huish he said there was a possibility that if I passed another clot of that size I would be transferred to the other hospital that has more experience with high risk. That scared me because I love my Doctor! I am “comfortable” at this hospital, and I don’t do well with change. That pretty well sums up the first 24 hours of our stay.
I tried to attach a short video of the highlight of my life, but I blame the hospital internet. Hopefully the link will work! https://youtu.be/Aj_1gjQMEeU

Baby Girl

So the rumors are true, Nixon’s going to be a big brother July 9! He has no idea what is going on of course, but we are terrified so excited! I'm 21 weeks tomorrow (Feb. 26) and there has been so much going on with this baby, I don’t know where to begin!

When I found out I was pregnant I went on the search for a “big brother” shirt to surprise Jim. He was working a half day that day so I planned on him wearing it when Jim got home and it would be a surprise. Welllllll, Jim got home later than planned and Nixon ended up falling asleep. Jim was still surprised when he eventually realized what Nixon’s shirt said.

We found out I was pregnant back in October and it wasn’t long after that the morning sickness started setting in. When we were in New York (!!!) That’s when smells and such really started getting to me. It’s been so different than when I was pregnant with Nixon because the morning sickness would last all day with little to no relief. With Nixon I would be sick, throw up, and be better around noon. This one, no, She has other plans. Sick all day, throw up randomly, and continue to be sick. For a few weeks I had a major aversion to anything sweet. I wanted nothing to do with cookies, cakes, ice cream, anything like that and it was great! That however, has subsided and I could probably live exclusively off of air heads.

20 weeks with Nixon vs 19 weeks with baby girl

I definitely get my cravings, and It’s always around 3 in the afternoon. I think I text Jim everyday saying I’m craving something different. One day it was a corn dog and onion rings, and 5 minutes later it was tacos. I’m telling you, pregnancy is the craziest thing.

This next part is mostly for me, and kinda TMI, but hey, it’s my blog and if you don’t like it, move along :)
Now we are kind of caught up to now. Besides being sick, this pregnancy hasn’t been all roses like it was with Nixon. My biggest concern with him was that he was going to be huge by his due date! This one, well, it’s been much more rocky. Everything up to 19 weeks was great besides the morning sickness! I started to show much much earlier, and that was depressing. We Had the big anatomy ultrasound on Feb 12 and found out that it was a girl! So many emotions! We also found out that there was a possibility that I had a second lobe on my placenta. I also have a total Placenta Previa, meaning that the placenta is attached low in the uterus and completely covering the cervix. As the uterus grows, the placenta often goes with it, uncovering the cervix and I can have a normal delivery. If It doesn’t, then it’s a c-section. They sent me in to have a level 2 ultrasound to see if the placenta had the second lobe. After an hour of poking and two doctors later, it was determined that I just have one, massive placenta. The reason they couldn’t tell if it were one or two is because at the very bottom there’s a very large placental lake. The doctor described it like the placenta is like a sponge, and some openings are bigger than others, thus creating a lake. It really is massive! You could see the blood flowing through it in the ultrasound, probably the craziest thing I’ve ever seen! So because the lake is so big, and in the perfect place right above the cervix, they couldn’t tell if the front and the back were connected. They are connected! We also learned that massive placentas make massive babies, that I was less than excited to hear as you can imagine!

Fast forward to Sunday, Feb 22. We had a really low key day or just lounging around the house (we skipped stake conference, we have a 2 year old for heavens sake!) I started to feel a little crampy and annoyed but ignored it for awhile. After dinner I went to the bathroom and wouldn’t you know it, blood. More than a little, less than a lot. Naturally I freaked out and started crying and Jim called the nurse who then had the on call Doctor give us a call. He said if it got worse than to go to the ER ASAP, but if it lightened or went away just call Dr. Huish in the morning and he would probably have me come in just to make sure things were ok. I took it easy the rest of the night and the bleeding completely stopped. When I called the office in the morning the nurse was very very serious when she said “you need to go to the hospital right now because of what’s going on with your placenta”. So again, I started crying, called Jim home from work, dropped Nixon off and headed to the hospital. Once we were there they hooked me up to the machine that checks to see if you are having contractions and asked me a million questions while they tried to find a heart beat. It took her so long and she kept saying “there’s the placenta, we can hear the placenta” and I was like uhhh ya, I know. It’s massive, but where’s the heartbeat? Eventually she found it and it was strong and everything sounded good. After being hooked up and them calling Dr. Huish they said everything was fine and to go home. They said I needed to take it easy, no heavy lifting and absolutely no working out. I started laughing, she clearly doesn’t know me at all! I went and got Nixon and took it pretty easy the rest of the day. There’s only so much you can do with a two year old and taking it easy.
The next day, Tuesday, we went to the mall to pick up a gift, walked to the mail box and that was the extent of our activity. When I got home, sure enough I was spotting. It wasn’t as much as before, so I wasn’t too worried. I then took it easier the rest of the night but kept spotting. It got lighter as the night went on so that was good! I didn’t call the doctor because it was after 5, and I knew they were just going to say to watch it and if it got worse to come in. So Wednesday morning I went back and forth on if I should call or not because it wasn’t as bad, and I really didn’t want to go back to the hospital. I ended up calling and the nurse said to come down and they would do an ultrasound just to make sure things were fine because they didn’t do know while we were at the hospital. So I hopped in the car and went down there. I got right in and after taking a quick look around, it was determined that things were fine, again. The Ultrasound tech thought that maybe the baby had been kicking the placental lake sending blood through the cervix. As terrible and scary as that is, its kind of best case. It’s a possibility that the blood could get to the baby and we obviously don’t want that. Dr. Huish is suppose to call back and give me further instruction. From what I’ve read, these are all commons things to happen with a placenta previa, especially at this point in pregnancy. It could last for a few weeks, or it could result in bed rest. I’m really hoping its just a few weeks and everything moves up and we can get over all of this… not to mention I’m kind of over all these doctor visits! In the last 3 weeks I’ve had 4 appointments, and 3 ultrasounds. It’s a bit crazy! Hopefully we will have some answers soon and I wont be put on bed rest! Here’s the ultrasound from this morning to take us out!

A Birth Story

I woke up on February 14 after a very miserable night sleep. I knew It was going to be my last good sleep in awhile and I wasted it! I couldn’t sleep! So I got out of bed around 8 and made some pancakes for the Hub and I. I mean it was valentines day after all, gotta go above and beyond. We sat and ate out breakfast and I said “how many times do you think I’m going to cry today” and then I started crying. I knew it was going to be an emotional day. Jim usually works from home on Thursdays but decided that he was going to take the day off instead and finish up the last few things that needed to get done around the house. On top of that he had been sick since Sunday, and on Tuesday the doctor told him he had tonsillitis. His whole mouth was swollen to the point where he could hardly eat anything, and cold sores took over his bottom lip. It was the worst timing ever, but we he made it through.

  It was a great day! I got to clean all day, and I love cleaning! But in the back of my head I couldn’t shake the feeling that “this time tomorrow I’m going to be in labor”. We didn’t have any big Valentines day plans because I was really torn on what to do. Do we go to dinner and a movie and get home kinda late and then MAYBE get an hour or two of sleep and then go have a baby at 3 am or do we just got to an easy dinner so we can come home and try to nap or go to sleep earlier and then go have a baby? By 5 I was starving so we decided on the latter. The Hub and I ate our last meal and Zupas, came home and took the dog on a walk, and sat down to watch Revenge. There were multiple times during the show that I heard vibrating but I couldn’t figure out where it was coming from. Then I finally said something and Jim realized his phone had been ringing but was on the charger. He jumped up and answered it and I heard him say “Hmmm. Let me ask my wife”, that sure got my attention. He then said that the hospital was on the phone and wanted to know if we would like to come in now, and my heart stopped and I shrugged my shoulders and said “I don’t see why not” and looked back at the tv and started crying. It was only 8:00, 5 hours before I was suppose to even go in. I finished the last 5 minutes of the episode, but I have no idea what actually happened. I got up and started getting the rest of my things ready, but I knew it was pointless because my bag had been ready for 2 weeks. Then, I had one of the most amazing experiences with that husband of mine, first of many to come over the next few days, but there was a hug involved and some pretty amazing words and emotions and I’ll just leave it at that.

We got to the hospital around 8:45 and got all set up with registration. Around 9:20ish they came out to get us, and we were headed back to our room. I had no idea what to even expect going in and even now just a few days later it’s kind of a blur. My nurse checked my and said I was 3 and 60%, and don’t worry that I called her out on the fact that I had been 80% earlier. She then told me it’s all up to interpretation and I would know that if I had “gone to class”. Sassy thing she was, but I really really really really loved her. As she was hooking me up she said that I was having contractions, but they weren’t labor contractions, and I had no idea. I didn’t really feel anything, and she said they weren’t regular at all. It was kind of nice to just sit there and chat with her as she did everything. I felt really confident in her and her experience as a L&D nurse. Around 11 I was completely hooked up and they had me started on Pitocin. I had heard stories that it would make my life miserable and for the first hour I felt like it wasn’t doing anything. Much to my surprise around 12 my doctor came in as happy as ever and broke my water and told me I was at a 4. For whatever reason I was positive it was going to hurt, but I didn’t feel a thing, but a gush of warm water, and it never seemed to stop. After that things got rough. I actually started to feel my contractions and she kept telling me to “do what you did to get ready for this part” and I just kept looking at Jim like, I didn’t do anything to get ready for this part, I thought they told you how to breath.

At 12:15ish I pulled out my iPad and watched Lamaze breathing on youtube and it didn’t really help at all. My nurse was really good about coming in every 30 minutes exactly to do whatever they do so when she came in at 12:30 she asked if I was doing ok and I said yes but I didn’t want the epidural yet. I’ve heard of multiple different people getting it and then by the time they needed to push it had warn off and they felt everything, not exactly what I wanted. I was determined to make it to 1 before telling her I was ready. She left the room again and I had 2 more contractions fairly close together and I looked at Jim and told him I couldn’t do it anymore and that I needed the epidural. I called her back in and told her and I said I tried to make it as long as I could but I needed it now. She called the anesthesiologist in and he got right to work. Knowing now how things played out I wish I had gotten it sooner because I didn’t realize how hard it would be to be contracting and getting ready for an epidural. It was hard! I had the pillow in front of me, and my nurse holding my shoulders forward so that I wouldn’t move. I couldn’t breath through the contractions anymore because the pillow was in my face, and if I turned my head I would breath in my hair. It was rough. I didn’t know that it took so long for them to shove that needle in your back! When he was done sticking everything in I had 2 contractions and I was worried and I even said “Am I suppose to be feeling this”? and He chuckled and said he hadn’t put the medicine in yet. I felt like an idiot.

By the time he was done the nurse said I was at about a 6.5! I was shocked! I expected for things to slow down at this point because that’s what the epidural does. It was a good thing I called and asked for the epidural when I did because as he was putting it in he was called into a C section and they said had I not called I probably would have waited until about 2 to get it. That would have been awful!! Before 2 I was already a 7. My nurse told me that the goal was to have the baby here before 7 at the latest so that was my plan. I texted my cousin to let her know because her and my aunt were going to come down and be my personal cheerleaders. I needed cheerleaders. By this point I was feeling really really good, but there was no hope of getting any rest for Jim or I. We both tried, but they come in so often and the anticipation was killing both of us. Only a few hours and our sweet baby would be joining us in the world! Paige told me that Her and Shelley were getting ready and I thought they were crazy. I told them to leave their house around 5:30 and I am so happy they didn’t listen to me. At 2:15 I was an 8, and Paige and Shelley announced that they were coming to the hospital, but I was still convinced we were goaling for 7.

I sent this text at 2:45 “We are at a 9.5. She said we will be pushing in 1-3 hours. If I could push we would but we are gonna let him come down some more so I’d say head on over”. This is when things got, what I felt, weird. I had to lay on my side to get him to drop. I was having to switch back and forth, and they even brought out the peanut ball for me to put between my legs. I could move my own body for the most part, but I only had so much control over my legs. I could move them to where they needed to be, but she had to position them on the ball. After being on my side for awhile the nurse came back and checked me a few times and he was coming down really good, except he had his head turned. It wasn’t a big deal (so they made it seem). The nurse had to get someone else for a second opinion to see what way he was facing. His body was ready, but he was trying to come out with his ear first. This meant that they were going to have to try and turn his head as I contracted. At this point Paige and Shelley  were at the hospital and had joined us in the delivery room. The nurse said we were going to “practice push”, and its just like real pushing, except the nurse was all up in my business with all the strength she had trying to turn his head as I pushed. I’m so so so so so glad I didn’t really know what was going on, because now I do and I would have been really freaking out. Jim was up by my head holding my hand while Paige and Shelley were holding my legs and helping me push. This all started at about 3:30 and went on for awhile. I was getting tired, and she said when we were about 20 minutes away she would call Dr. Huish to come down, and before I knew it she came back into the room and said that he was here, at the hospital. After he broke my water he saw that I was at a 5.5 and decided to just sleep at the hospital because he knew it wouldn’t be long before he would be needed. This is when I got really nervous, and things got a little crazy. This is when lots of people started coming into the room and introducing themselves to me and I don’t remember any of them. I thought it was so funny that she called on her pager and said that she needed help in delivery and like 10 people were there in no time.

We continued with the practice pushing and she said I had a cyst that ruptured while I was pushing so every time I pushed it would bleed a lot. I wasn’t even surprised and she said it wouldn’t hurt the baby at all. When Dr. Huish showed up the whole vibe of the room changed. All of a sudden it was business. All the nurses were there at his command. Diana showed him the cyst and told him it bled a lot when I pushed and he said it wasn’t the cyst that was bleeding, it was because I had torn so much already. He definitely said it so I wouldn’t hear, but I did.  This scared me and not to long after they were pulling out the oxygen. I don’t know if these were related, but I wouldn’t be surprised. Things were underway and people were taking bets on when he would come. I just remember being kind of out of it, and dizzy, and saying “I’m going to throw up soon”, and just like that they had given me a little thing to throw up in. Not long after, I sure did throw up, but it was just mostly stomach acid and bubbles. This happened a few times and then it was back to business. Dr. Huish said he was going to use the vacuum because his heart rate was dropping and he would be here in a couple of pushes. I was fine with that and started prepping myself so a funky cone head shaped baby. And just as an FYI, the vacuum is nothing like you’d imagine. It honestly reminds me of a giant breast pump with a crank handle. He was right, a few pushes later, at 5:05am the cutest baby entered the world. It was absolutely surreal and everything was kind of blurry but he held him up and I started crying, and then he said because of his heart rate I couldn’t hold him yet. Jim then got to cut the cord, and in that moment there was no one else in the world. It was just my handsome husband and my sweet baby, and the tears really started coming for me. Just like that moment over and he was on the scale and Shelley sent Jim over to be by the baby and she stayed with me. All I remember hearing was “he has such long fingers and toes” and “don’t take any pictures yet”. I don’t know why the nurses wouldn’t let them take pictures, but that’s what they said.

Next thing I know Dr. Huish was asking me to push again so that I could deliver the placenta, and he asked if I wanted to see it and I was discussed and said NO until I caught a little glimpse of it and decided that I needed to see the whole thing. I’ve never seen anything like it! He held it up and turned it right side out and told me how healthy it was. My response “and people eat that???” He responded by laughing and saying “no no no, only a few really weird people do”. After that I felt like things were dragging on. I still hadn’t held my baby, and now Dr. Huish was sewing me up. That took another 30-45 minutes and I just watched my husband watch our baby, and I got emotional all over again. At one point I looked over and he was wiping a tear from his face, and I lost it. I’ve only seen the man cry 3 times in my life and this was one of them. Right after that there was a nice performance put on by Nixon as he peed all over the nurses… twice. That’s my boy! Shortly after Dr. Huish was finished with the sewing the nurse handed my cute husband our adorable baby, and instantly he stopped crying and was just happy content and Jim walked him over to me and put him in my arms, and he started crying again, and didn’t stop for about an hour. I tried feeding him, rocking him, everything, he just wasn’t havin’ mom!

Eventually it was time to be transferred into the post partum room and all three of us were just exhausted. The nurse came in to talk to us and I could barely keep my eyes open and nod my head enough to make her believe I was listening. We were lucky enough to have a one hour nap, eat some food, be bothered again by the nurses and then we had another nap for probably an hour and after that we were not allowed to sleep! People were coming in and out, Nixon was being checked by the nurses, so was I, and it was just crazy.

The rest of the day was spent with friends and family, and not much rest. I’ve never been through something so crazy and amazing before in my life. The best part? I got the cutest little baby out of it. We love you Nixon! Thank you for making what could have been a terribly painful experience, not so bad!

Nixon at 3 weeks old and half naked

Grumpy Gills

You know those moments when you hate someone so much

and you just want to tell them to "go to hell" or "check your facts"

but the only thing you can really do is cry?

I had that moment yesterday.

And the person on the receiving end of my odd silence was someone who I truly do appreciate

and I respect him beyond this world.

Last week when I went in for my 37 week appointment the doctor told me I had lost a pound

(at that moment I nearly hugged him) 

and that I was also measuring 40 weeks.

The week before I was measuring right on at 36 weeks

so I grew 4 cm. in a week.

A WEEK!

That's a lot people.

He told me when I came back for my 38 week appointment we would need

to do an ultrasound to measure the size of this baby,

and he didn't want my first one to be "the record breaker".

and the more reasons he could find to get this baby here sooner he would use to get me induced early.

I. Was. Ecstatic.

to say the least.

When I made my appointment for 38 weeks I had to make it 2 days earlier than normal

due to my work schedule and the ultrasound tech's hours.

This meant I was going in only 5 days after my last appointment.

I was a little worried that he wouldn't tell me what I wanted to hear,

but my baby was measuring 40 cm and I was really counting on that working out for me.

After my ultrasound he told me that this baby was 8lbs.

EIGHT! I'm only 37.5 weeks and my baby is 8lbs.

He said that could be off a little in either direction, 

and I'm assuming, with my luck, this baby is bigger than 8lbs.

and then the student measured my stomach, and I was measuring 38 weeks.

Tell me right now how that adds up. It doesn't, but I just wanted to carry on with the appointment so I didn't ask questions about that.

He pointed out my swollen feet for the millionth time and the student Doctor expressed her concerns about

how swollen they were. 

I honestly don't think she's seen such fat feet before.

He reminded her the swelling was part of pregnancy and then she told him

I have trace amounts of protein in my urine, and I have for a few weeks.

(News to me, and I got excited about that because that means preeclampsia or toxemia, and that means get this baby out asap)

But then he said it's not enough to worry about, and everything looked just fine and I didn't have either.

He then checked me and told me that I'm progressing. 

I'm 3cm and 80%, up from 5 days ago when I was 2cm and 70%.

I know that should get me excited but it doesn't.

People dilate and efface way before they actually go into labor.

I could stay here until I'm 42 weeks along 

(but clearly we all know that I am NOT waiting that long)

This is when I got pissed.

This is when I nearly just started crying.
This may be TMI, but it's my blog so deal with it.
Then he said next week they would strip my membrane if I would like.
I did manage to say, in my most pathetic voice "Can't we do that's today"?
I think I caught him off guard, who really wants their membrane stripped?
This girl.
So he did. Now I am 3cm, 80% effaced, and -2.

He said he would schedule an inducement date for around 39 weeks

but he wouldn't tell me what day it is for until my next appointment.

In a week.

I couldn't even find the words to beg him to tell me. I was literally chocking back the tears, not from the pain, but gosh did that hurt, but because I was so upset.

And that made it even harder to breath.

How was I having an 8lb baby already? and Why am I the only one concerned about the massive size?

The longer he is in there the more weight he is going to gain.

The more weight he gains, the more weight I gain, and it's that much harder for me to do anything.

He handed me my paper to schedule my appointment for next week and said

"See you next week, hopefully sooner!" with his ear to ear smile and ever so cheery, happy, peppy voice.

So I just whispered "thank you" and like that he was out the door.

I just sat there for a few minutes and got my composure,

struggled while I tried to put my pants back on.

I even thought about calling him back in the room to have him watch how hard it is for me to get dressed

because I think that's a good reason to get induced. That and an 8lb baby.

I can't lift my feet past the middle of my opposite calf, and I can't bend down that far to pull up my pants.

Imagine that sight, accompanied by some grunting and cursing.

Needless to say, I'm done. This baby is very much big enough to survive on the outside,

and I've got the necessities prepped and ready for him.

The only thing left that absolutely needs to get done is a real good house cleaning before he gets here.

But have I mentioned I can't bend over? 

Please pray for us.

Pray that this baby comes,

and my husband doesn't kill me.

or himself for that matter. 

Poor guy.

And because no blog post is good without pictures, here's a few really flattering pictures of a whale for you.

Oh wait, those are pictures of me, on the ladder, painting the babies room. That's how much I love you baby,

37.5 weeks pregnant and I painted 95% of your room by myself because I'm impatient.

and I thought it would induce labor.

It didn't.

But at least your room isn't completely white anymore.

You are welcome.

And the last picture is Chief and I on our walk.

He is fat and lazy too and get's to lay down to wait for the lights to change color.

Lucky dog.

But this picture is to show how fat my feet really are.

I finally feel like this picture almost does it justice.

Almost.

You've made it this far?!

I'm shocked.

I've rambled on for a long long long time now.

I hope your week is much more comfortable than mine!

2012 in Review

Easily my favorite post of the year. I remember thinking back in January "Well in the review post January is going to be really boring again" and I still can't think of anything cool to write about January. Sad.

January

It’s kind of a boring month, with all the recovery from the holidays. Jim did take me snowboarding in Arizona, it is such a different experience than when you snowboard in Utah!

February

My parent's came to visit, and we learned the difference in being burglarized and robbed. You have to be home to be robbed. That was lots of fun, I haven't really slept well since. (especially last night when I was positive someone was breaking into the neighbors house at 2:30, and 3:30, and 4:30.)

March

We spent yet another amazing spring break in Mexico. We LOVE Mexico

April

We both grew another year older, and wiser too. We also babysat these two crazy kids with Tay while their parents enjoyed two days at Disney!

May

Jim got a promotion at work, and Taylor and I made the most amazing head boards ever. Maybe George helped a little too.

June

We enjoyed our super fun vacation in San Francisco and returned home 100% determined to find a new job, accepted a new job, SURPRISE a positive pregnancy test, and told Nordstrom it was time to peace out. (in that exact order)

July

We spent the 4th in Utah, Jim came back to Arizona to work and go to school and I suffered a case of pink eye in Yellowstone. We also celebrated our 2nd anniversary in Vegas, although I spent most of the time sleeping and being sick. So sorry Hub, you planned a good trip despite my 10 week pregnant body. and last but not least we let everyone know that baby Ross would be joining us in February.

August

Apparently not much happened this month. I thought I looked really pregnant, and now I know I was just a crazy person. We suffered some bad luck with my car, and the a/c in our house, but thanks to that handy man husband of mine he fixed it, all at the same time as buying a crib!

September

Also a fairly boring month, but our luck turned around and I won a brand new iPad at a work party! Woo Hoo!

October

Jim became the proudest man alive as we found out baby Ross would be baby boy Ross. We dressed up as a baker and an oven for Halloween, and spent some money on cute baby clothes!

November

I started to really really really feel pregnant. My family came to Arizona for Thanksgiving,

December

We packed everything in. We went to temple lights, decorated for Christmas inside and out, attended Christmas parties, Jim won the grand prize for the best Christmas Treat in all of finance at insight, took our last flights as a family of two (how on earth do people fly with babies?!) and Celebrated Christmas with snow on the ground.

It is so cliché to say, but 2012 you were a great year. Full of surprises both good and bad, lots of growth mentally and physically, and lots of change. As good as you were, I'm happy to see you go. 2013 is going to be even more crazy, stressful, and fun. I can't wait to get things underway!!