31.2

May 9,2015

Jim was able to pick my mom up from the airport shortly after the second blood clot and they spent the rest of the night at home with Nixon. I was actually able to get some sleep that night because I didn’t have to be hooked up to the monitors all night! I’m down to twice a day for 20 minutes, but getting her to stay for those 20 minutes can be rough. I was up early again because I was really anxious to meet with Dr. Elliot. He specializes in high risk pregnancies, but doesn’t actually deliver babies anymore, but gives more of a consult. I went to his office at about 22 weeks for an ultrasound to see about the previa in the beginning. Around 9:15 my support team of mother, husband, and baby came walking through the door and I was so happy! Nothing makes me happier than hearing Nixon coming down the hall “baba? Baba? Baba!” They came right in time because about 30ish minutes later Dr. Elliot walked in. I’ve never felt so comfortable and terrified in my entire life. The information coming from his mouth was horrible, but knowing it makes me feel better. We chatted about the the history of this pregnancy so far and he said I’ve been pretty much a text book case of placental previa. You usually have 3 bleeds, each one worse than the next, and they will all happen about 2 weeks apart. They are counting this one as my second bleed because the first wasn’t very much, and earlier on than usual. He asked how far away I lived and thought about it for a second and just told me as nicely as possible that I wouldn’t be going home. He wants me to be comfortable and understands how sucky it is to be here but went on to explain the risks of being at home when the third bleed occurs. In order to even go home I wouldn’t be able to have any spotting whatsoever for at least 4 or 5 days, and to be honest no one is really counting on that. From there he said if I were at home I would need someone who could be with me 24/7 to call an ambulance if I started to bleed again because there wouldn’t be any time. He’s had patience bleed out who were in the hospital before they even made it to the OR. After hearing that I knew I was exactly where I needed to be. As comfortable as home would be, I can’t be completely contained to the bed at home with Nixon, it would just be too hard.

The big question is how long will I be pregnant? Obviously no one knows because things could change so fast at any point. The goal is to keep this baby in as long as its beneficial for her, and not putting me at too much risk. Right now, she needs to be in. Hopefully for a week or two, but we are kind of expecting to meet her within that time. Dr. Elliot said that week 32-33 are really more important for her to be in, but the survival rate is 98% at this point. Around 34 weeks the benefits stop outweighing the risk and they will likely take the baby then to prevent a blood vessel in the placenta popping and dealing with tons of bleeding (he said it could be nearly a liter right from the get go!) Ideally I wont need an emergency c-section and I can just have a regular scheduled one, just much earlier than the current one that is scheduled for June 18. Needless to say, I’m scared shitless but there’s not a single thing I can do. Everything has been a total fluke, I didn’t do anything to make the placenta attach low, there’s nothing to do to prevent the bleeding, and like Dr. Elliot said earlier, If I’m going to bleed I’m going to bleed. It doesn’t matter if it’s in the shower or the bed or on the toilet, it is pretty much bound to happen. I’m like a bomb just waiting to go off but until then we are doing what we can to prevent it. They moved me out of isolation (I wasn’t really in isolation, they just don’t really use the room because its not that functional) and I’m now right across the hall from the OR just in case anything happens. I feel blessed to be surrounded by such good Drs and nurses! They are trying to keep me with the same nurses so that everyone will stay on the same page and I have loved them all so far. I know that whatever happens everything will be ok and I’m exactly where I need to be, even if I cry every time I hear Nixons voice on the other end of the phone.

So thank you all! Thank you for the kind text, phone calls, messages, and out pouring of love for my little family. I’m truly grateful for everyone offering to take my Nixon so Jim can be at the hospital with me, or my mom. Cross your fingers, toes, and my legs that we can get as much time as possible with this sassy thing inside.