Things You Never Ever Say to a Pregnant Person

Common sense?

Apparently not.

-"When are you due"? 

"February 22" 

"OH MAN! I thought you were having a Christmas baby"!!
Accompanied by a look of complete surprise. Jokes on you buddy, I've still got 2.5 months.

-When your friend show's your most recent bump picture to someone and the reaction is "How many babies is she having"? One. There's just one in there. And -10 friend points for you TAYLOR for telling me this story. (see above picture)

-"You look 9 months pregnant already"!

"Thanks".

"I didn't want to say anything"
Well, maybe you shouldn't have?

30 weeks

-"You look as good as ever"

So this 30 lb. belly is no different then when I didn't have it?

-"I think I am getting to the uncomfortable all the time stage"

Women laughs ridiculously loud and responds "Oh no, no you aren't"

Really? Because last time I checked I had no feeling under my ribs, my feet ache, my hips hurt, my upper and lower back never stop screaming at me, and I can't walk and talk at the same time for fear that I might pass out. You are right, I feel like I'm floating on air.

Half asleep, 31 weeks

-"Do you want a cookie"?

"No thank you"

"But you are pregnant, don't you always want a cookie"

"No, it literally wont fit in my body"
"Really"? (said with extremely large eyes)

I know my stomach is big, but trust me, if I could fit a cookie, I would. But I choose being able to breath as normal as possible.

-"Am I the only one super annoyed with the car alarm that's been going off forever"?
"Yes. It's a pregnancy thing" (coming from the guy wearing head phones)
No, it's not.

After the Nutcracker, still 31 weeks

-"You are only X weeks along? Your baby is going to be HUGE".
Is that a fat joke?

-While facetiming with my brother in Hong Kong, "Her feet are so swollen, see"? "OH GROSS"!!
OH GROSS, CODY?! Do you know what you eat?! That's what is gross my friend. I'll have you know that the reason for the swelling is, 31 weeks pregnant, air planes, high heals, walking around the mall for a few hours, venturing into temple square, and Utah's high altitude. What did you expect, Cody??

Probably the most embarrassing picture I've taken thus far. Jenna is 4 weeks ahead of me people, She doesn't even look pregnant in this picture.

I can assure you she is. And there is a bump there, she just carries hers with grace, and not two left feet like me.

-"When are you due"
"February 22"
"Oh you are so close"!!
No no no no, so close is waddling into the hospital in tears just hours before giving birth. THAT is close. 31 weeks is just "coasting" according to the doctor.

-When someone's reaction to how you are feeling, weather it be physical or emotional, is "Hormones". Well you listen here, I don't care if it's hormones, those are real feelings and there is nothing I can do to stop feeling them! It's not like I'm crying over a broken nail, I'm pissed because someone just yelled at me on the phone and I had nothing to do with their problem. You are going to sit there and tell me my reaction is due to HORMONES?! I'll cut you.

And this is the real problem I'm facing these days. I can't see half my iPad screen, or anything for that matter, because there is 

just nowhere to comfortably hold anything. 

As a side note: Things to never say to the expecting father: "Are you getting so excited"? I think that everyone involved in the conversation can agree that yes, he is getting so excited for more reasons than one. I can name a few just off the top of my head, a wife who is not miserably swollen, a baby to cuddle, life adjusting to the new "normal" and no longer being in the weird limbo phase that we've been in since June, and mostly no more conversations about my aches and pains. I don't blame him!

Thoughts on Being Almost 30 Weeks Pregnant

I thought I would be better about documenting my pregnancy. I've taken a picture nearly every week to show how much this belly is growing, but other than that I haven't done much else. So as of right now, just a few days shy of 30 weeks:
-I'm tired of being pregnant. Big Shock ;)
-I can't wait to be a stay at home mom!!
-On Sunday at church I had a girl came up to me and said "I had no idea you were pregnant! When are you due, what are you having"? "I'm due February 22, and it's a boy"! "Oh so you are in the uncomfortable part now, no sleeping and stuff". Then my sweet husband chimed in, "More like I'm not sleeping because she is snoring so loud". I believe this will be our first and last conversation ever.
-On top of having next to no problem sleeping through the night, I've only gotten up to go to the bathroom maybe 3 times during my whole pregnancy! I've always been slightly proud of the fact my husband doesn't have to wait for me to go to the bathroom everywhere we go, but now I wish I could give my bladder a big pat on the back!! Such an accomplishment for a huge pregnant person!
-I haven't had one constant craving throughout my pregnancy. Sometimes I get on kicks where some things sound really good like an over sized slice of pizza or hot fudge sundaes. For a few weeks I wanted BJ's tomato soup in a bread bowl.
-I threw up a few days ago from bending over. I don't know what it was, maybe I squished my stomach or something because as soon as I got down, everything was coming up.
-In order to even bend over I've officially resorted to more of a squat.
-Pregnancy brain hasn't so much been an issue for me. That is until Jim and I were at the grocery store and he would talk to me and I would just stare blankly at him. I had no answers for him.
-I often find I'm out of breath. Like can't walk and talk. I also attribute some of the pregnancy brain to the lack of oxygen.
-My back still hurts. I can not wait for that epidural.
-If you could win a gold medal in sleeping, I know I would win. I could sleep a million hours straight and still be exhausted when I woke up.
-I'm kind of getting annoyed that when I come home from work and want to put my pajama's on I have no big t shirts to be comfy in, or no hoodie to be comfy in. All my shirts are too small, and I don't think my husband enjoys sharing his wardrobe with me.
-Leggings are not pants. #sorryimnotsorry
-By the end of the week I can't even recognize my swollen feet. Sometime I think my toe nails are going to pop off!
-This belly gets in the way. There's no other way to put it.
-I have a new appreciation for my "pre baby" body.
-Baby only likes to show off his tricks for mom. If he's ever moving like crazy and someone wants to feel he will surly stop. I think Jim has only felt him moving a couple of times, but he puts on shows for me all day!
-That husband of mine, he takes good care of us. He always has, but it's the extra things like "go put your feet up" that make my heart melt. (and that's not even when they are huge yet!)
-I'm still so excited to be a mom.
-I'm still slightly stressed because I haven't nested like I've wanted to. So much left to do! Maybe after the holidays? Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight?

                                            11 weeks                                                                                     12 weeks

                                                        14 weeks                                                                               15 weeks

                                                      18 weeks                                                                                  19 weeks

                                                      20 weeks                                                                                    21 weeks

                                                           22 weeks                                                                             24 weeks

                                                          25 weeks                                                                              26 weeks

                                                        27 weeks                                                                               29 weeks

That pretty much sums up everything until this point. We can't wait to meet you Baby Ross!!!
What I love about these pictures: When Chief decides he needs to make an appearance.
What I hate about these pictures: It also documents how much my hair has grown out. YIKES!
And yes. I did loose the white t shirt, so now we will be taking pictures in whatever shirt actually will fit on my body.